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September 23, 2021

Struggle in Your Safe Spaces — How To Raise Resilient Kids

I'm going to be real with you: Many mommas have a case of "Rapunzel syndrome." And no, I'm not referring to the rare genetic disorder involving hairballs, because apparently, that's a thing (EEK!) I'm talking about the obsession many parents have with creating “protected towers" for their kiddos far from the big, bad meanies in the world.

I'm going to be real with you: Many mommas have a case of "Rapunzel syndrome." And no, I'm not referring to the rare genetic disorder involving hairballs, because apparently, that's a thing (EEK!) I'm talking about the obsession many parents have with creating “protected towers" for their kiddos far from the big, bad meanies in the world.


While creating a safe space has its place, we must admit this world isn't a fairytale. Kiddos are going to face challenges as they grow up and that's not a bad thing! Without moments of struggle, we could never learn and develop. If parents don't prepare their little princes and princesses to take on life's dragons, they're going to have a difficult time adapting emotionally and professionally.


Finding that optimal dose of encouragement without becoming a helicopter parent can be challenging for new mommas. However, I have a few mom tips that should help you strike the right balance when raising resilient kids.


Teaching Kids About Resilience — Three Strategies To Strengthen Your Kiddo's Self-Confidence


Encouraging Mantras Can Beat the Inner Critic


One of the greatest barriers to success is the insidious voice of the inner critic. You probably know who I'm talking about! Unfortunately, this nagging naysayer is the loudest when we fail at some task. Little ones can combat this paralyzing force if they have a few reliable comeback phrases up their sleeves. 


One easy way to get these phrases in your kiddo's mind is to put inspiring quotes throughout your home. You could even make this into an art project where your little one picks a phrase that resonates with them. Put a few of these posters or wood blocks in prominent places to serve as a gentle reminder to keep moving forward.


You should also use a few of these phrases whenever your little one seems down and out. Not only will these powerful words help you connect with your little one, they should improve your kiddo's inner monologue. 


So, what kind of mighty mantras am I talking about? You can find dozens of phrases online, but here are a few of my favorites:


• "Tough times don't last; tough people do!"

• "I tried and failed. I tried again and again and succeeded."

• "Turn your wounds into wisdom."

• "Fall seven times, stand up eight."


Praise Perseverance and Patience 


Whenever you're praising your kiddo, please be sure to focus your attention on inner qualities rather than just their accomplishments. Even when your little one does a great job, you need to draw their attention to the factors that led to their success. I'd recommend giving your kiddo kudos for their determination, patience, and can-do attitude rather than whatever trophy they may win. 


Remember, the goal here is to build up your little one's resilience to carry them through their adult life. It's the inner qualities like perseverance that will keep your little one climbing to ever greater heights. Also, these factors are what your kiddo has the most control over, hence they are more praiseworthy! 


We never want to get stuck in one phase of development; we should always keep moving onwards and upwards towards greater accomplishments. We can help our little ones recognize the qualities that make success possible by praising these resilient qualities. 


Going Solo Isn't Always Strong — Teach Kiddos To Ask For Help


If you've read my previous blogs, you know how I always praise mommas who ask for help from their village. While going solo may seem like the strong thing to do, it's rarely the best choice. Indeed, I think it's way stronger for mommas to admit they need assistance than to go it alone.


That's why I feel it's essential for little ones to learn it's more than OK to ask for help when they need it. Parents need to make it clear that asking for help from your village is a sign of strength, not weakness. There will come times when your kiddos will need assistance, and in those moments, they may need to swallow some pride to thrive. 


Village Building Is Resilience Against the World


As crucial as self-reliance is, please remember we don't live in a bubble! Kiddos need to learn that there is strength in numbers. The most resilient people have unshakable communities, which is why I always encourage building your village.


If you're still struggling to build your village, no worries! I have an entire blog post with tips you could use to create a strong social network. Of course, if you have questions about raising resilient kids, you can always DM me on Instagram!


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